A line is a dot that went for a run.

2012-02-24T23:08:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! (:

I had CRS exam in the morning just now. Yes, it's the subject that i got 19/50 for during the test. Surprisingly, the paper was quite easy. I think this is the first time i studied so hard this semester. I started my revision about 4 days before the exam (usually i just study the day before -.-).

Knowing that i can't study at home, i studied at the library with Zazz at library everyday. I get distracted by everything at home. It's like, i can even get distracted by the window and trees outside. I can end up staring at the trees and clouds moving. At least i am confined in a place where i can't look outside when i'm in the library. It was very productive! To add on to this, this handsome guy studied at the same table with Zazz and i, and i kept stealing glances at him. He sat in front of me yesterday, and sat beside me today. Omg. It's like a bonus, hahaha. But of course i concentrated more on my revision. He's from SP (i stole a glance at his lecture notes -.-) Okay can, i shall camp at the library more often next time. I like guys who study at the library, so attractive and disciplined ^^ At least he rather goes to the library than to spend his time drinking or clubbing. But cos it's the exam period what. Or else sure go clubbing already la. I'm just biased and judgemental la lol.

Anyway, i got a shock just now. I was using the washroom at the library. Then after i flushed, all the water from the toilet bowl floated out and flooded the ground. Scare me can! And i was half asleep at that time, too tired already. LOL. I have an Accounting paper next tuesday. It's my favourite subject, i better score an A!

Oh! And i layered my hair last week. A lot of my friends said that i look very kiddy with this fringe. But i think it looks nice leh. And my hair is finally not so straight after layering! Yay! I must hao lian a bit and post a photo of my hair. Don't mind the eyebags ah, cos it's exam period what. Stressed and lack of sleep. Shall go stalk pretty girls on facebook after this post. Bye.

2012-02-19T19:39:00.000+08:00

Today is such a terrible day. My mood was like shit the entire day.

Supposed to meet Zazz at the library in the morning. But i woke up late and was lazy to go, so i didn't go and stayed at home. Big mistake, huge regret. Emo-ed like shit today. After every powerpoint of my notes that i read, i felt like crying. And i cried, and now my eyes are puffy and i feel so sleepy and i feel like taking a nap, which also means bad study progress and less time to study if i take a nap. Fuck it, so damn annoyed. Part of the reason why i feel so damn sad is cos i hate CRS, i hate studying this retarded subject. I feel so demoralized that i scored 19/50 for the test... Can't believe i am studying it again for the exam. Please leh, i really damn desperate to use the exam to pull up my overall. But where is the motivation? Come to me please.

Recently, i kept thinking about OSIP. And the more i think about it, the more annoyed i get. I had a recent TTB test... Thought it can pull me up, but thanks to the essay question ah, i screwed up the test. The answer was from the video shown during the tutorial, and not the lecture notes (which where i wrote my answers from). But i didn't attend the tutorial cos it's an online session. All my fault, cos i am supposed to be responsible for my own learning. The minimum criteria for the Disney internship in Orlando is 3.0. Confirm can't maintain la. This semester definitely pulls me down. Other OSIP criteria will also be high la. I shall be practical and focus on local internship now -.-

I really need to study for this retarded subject. Can't afford to do badly. I really need motivation, cos my brain is now filled with emotional and retarded thoughts. I just want to be happy, i don't know why it's just so hard. I keep telling myself that one day in the future, i'll meet someone better, and then again, part of me have this mindset that i will never find the one i like who will likes me back in return. It's like, all the girls out there deserve some awesome and nice guys, but i just don't. Wtf.

Okay, whatever. I wish i can hire some robot whom i can talk to now, so that i can complain, cry and be a bitch without being judged. Bye.

2012-02-14T20:50:00.002+08:00

Happy Valentine's Day to all couples! Enjoy it while it lasts (:

Thanks to some of my beloved friends who got me gifts and letters today! I went to Top Table to eat with Rachel, Anita and Leeying in the afternoon. The food was not bad, but i was very full cos it's a 4-course meal. Went for accounting tutorial after that, and then i went home. Supposed to join Sara and the rest at Timbre tonight, but i'm lazy to go and i feel like staying at home lol.

Saw so many couples holding flowers just now. So sweet! Okay, whatever.

I hate my hair. It's too straight, though i rebonded it in 2010? I miss my natural wavy hair. I even google searched on how to make rebonded hair go back to its natural state. And guess what? The only way is to cut it -.- No way! Haiyaaa. And i think i'm going to cut my fringe tomorow. Should i cut bangs? But baoshi said that i will look like a secondary school kid. I want to look matured leh, and not like a kid. Okay, i'll decide tomorrow. Feel free to text me your opinions before it's too late. HAHA.

Took some photos at Top Table too! Shall read books later and sleep early. I really cannot stand it when people sweet talk. In the end, it's all lies. Lies after lies. Okay, bye.

2012-02-13T20:21:00.002+08:00

I decided to revive my blog again. So fickle-minded lol.

My mood was like shit today. I am going to start complaining. I got back my CRS test. I failed the test, and it's not the borderline kind of fail. I failed it terribly. 19/50. You know why? Firstly, i didn't really study properly cos i hate this subject. Secondly, this subject is so boring. Learning about clubs, hotels, resorts and spas -.- The only few things that i find interesting are cruises, airlines and banks. Anything that has to do with travelling. Thirdly, i only attended 4 lectures out of 13 lectures. And lastly, the things that i studied and tried my very best to remember didn't come out. Fml. Cb. So pissed off. There's a CRS exam paper few weeks later. Though i hate this subject, i must study and make sure i get A. My GPA is so screwed up this semester!!

There's this FEM reflection paper that we have to hand up recently. I'm very certain that i did badly. The limit is 6 pages, everyone's writing about 7 pages and i only wrote 5 pages... Okay can -.- And i'm getting back CSIT test this friday and it's 30% and i didn't do well also. Really damn sad and stressed la. Wtf. Why the hell am i in this course? Everyone's telling me not to worry cos i have accounting to pull me up. Hello?! There's an accounting paper few weeks later and it's 60%. Just because i do well for the tests doesn't mean i'll secure an A. Shit happens at the least expected time.

Remember accounting paper last semester? I had food poisoning the night before, so i can't concentrate during the paper cos i kept wanting to puke, so i left half an hour early. This is called shit happening. The fucking reason why i'm so damn stressed is cos i want to do OSIP in Year 3.2 and the GPA criteria is 2.8. It's very risky. If i get below 3.0 this semester, my overall GPA may drop below 2.8. Zzz.

I want to do OSIP so badly. I want to travel. I want to experience a different culture and environment, i want to meet new people. I want to get away from the hectic life of Singapore. I want to see a different landscape. I know it's damn difficult to get OSIP cos there will be many interviews. But i just wanna try my best la -.-

Tomorrow's Valentine's Day. Hate it. Bye.

2012-01-30T00:55:00.002+08:00

"When someone walks out of your life, let them. There's no use in wasting time on people that leave you. What you make of yourself and your future is no longer tied to them. Yeah, you may miss them. But remember that you weren't the one that gave up."

So true :/ Sometimes, i wonder... What hurts more? To have someone walking out of your life, or to actually walk out from someone's life? Doesn't it hurt to walk out from someone's life? I never have the courage to walk out from people's life, be it a friend or someone special. Cos what if it was a wrong decision and move to walk out from his/her life? What if i actually walked out from the life of someone whom i have yet to see his/her good points? What if i'm actually losing out or overlooking some traits that are so special? What if i walk out, and regret? What if it's too late to walk back into that person's life again? Some good things... Once you fail to grab hold of them, they slip away. And you can only look back at blame yourself for making a wrong decision.

I used to care so much. I used to be worry till i can't sleep whenever you clubbed last time. I used to be scared that you'll drink too much, get drunk and do the wrong things etc etc. But i no longer care anymore. Cos i realised one thing, from the start to the end, i was never really loved by you anyway. You don't know how to love and will never learn how to. So whether you club or not, makes no difference to me, cos i never will be able to get you to really love me wholeheartedly. It's like, a guy who is surrounded by 100 pretty ladies everyday but is still able to love this certain girl wholeheartedly is so much better than having a guy who doesn't have any ladies around him, but doesn't know how to love. Don't feel like elaborating or justifying myself, cos there's no point already.

I'm not sad. You can't be sad when your heart already gives up completely on a certain thing. Whatever happens in the future, i won't miss or hope for us to be together again. Cos i deserve better.

2012-01-29T20:38:00.001+08:00

Supposed to be doing my project research now, but i'm procrastinating -.-

So i went to Sharon, Denny and then Xiuyong's house for CNY celebration yesterday. Yes, i went in the end. Watched them gamble, and i drank a lot of green tea. More than 5 packets i think? Like a pro! Didn't gamble cos i'm very protective of my assets. LOL. No la, cos i don't know how to play a lot of card games. But i left super early, like 10pm plus. Cos i don't wanna reach home too late.

As for today, i went to shop with Zazz and FEP and then Bugis after that. Walked until my legs super tired. Sigh. I wanted to buy contact lenses, but the shop is closed :( Okay nvm. Anyway, my rashes are slightly better, but they look like bruises now. Zzz. Now i look like some ah lian who just got into a fight -.-

So sleepy. I keep sleeping so much recently. Like 8 to 10 hours every night. But i'm never awake one. Okay la, i think the only time i'm awake is when i go out with my friends to shop or play.

Anyway, i want to try G-Max, the one at Clarke Quay. But most people i know dare not go with me. One of the things i must do before i turn 25 is to bungee jump. Damn shiok.

Chatted with Zazz when we shopped just now and i just realized a sad truth. You know, guys look at pretty girls... But i look at pretty girls too. And that sucks, cos my future boyfriend doesn't have to worry that i will end up looking at handsome guys and get attracted to them, cos i look at pretty girls. But i have to worry! :( In the end, maybe the both of us will end up talking about pretty girls? And one day, maybe he will also fall for them. Oh no! Haiya, but life is unfair all the time, what to do?

Thinking about it... In my whole life, i have never added any random handsome guys on facebook before... And when random guys added me on facebook, i didn't accept their requests too... Even if i accepted, it was years ago, and i intend to delete them soon. But i added random pretty girls on facebook so many times, and when random girls add me, i accepted their requests.

Sigh... I don't know why i ended up talking about this. So disturbing. Anyway, i added links already. Like finally... I took a photo with Sharon's nephew too. Shall post it before i do my project research. And my phone whatsapp keeps vibrating cos of projects discussion. I dare not look at my phone. So sad. There's presentation tomorrow. Bye.

2012-01-28T00:13:00.001+08:00

Lying down on my bed, sleeping soon.

Anyway, the doctor said that i have hives, which is due to allergies or viral infection. Lazy to explain much. I don't even know what i'm allergic to. Sigh, too blur already. But hives usually take a few weeks to clear off? Sian. Hope it quickly cures. Very disturbing to wear jacket to school everyday. Weather so hot somemore.

School is boring as usual. All about projects and lessons. Sigh. I have a project due on monday, presentation on monday, research and ppt slides due on wednesday, test on thursday, presentation on friday. With all the self-directed learning assignments... Sigh. Why HTM forever so many things to do one? I procrastinate so much somemore... Everyday feel so sleepy and tired. Zzz.

Sorry. I really can't think of any happy things to post now. Goodnight. Oh! And i'm still thinking, whether i should go to that event later. A part of me wants to go cos it's a CNY gathering, and i like to eat steamboat. But another part of me doesn't want to... Due to some reasons. See how bah. K bye.

2012-01-27T21:07:00.002+08:00

On CNY Day 2, which is 24 Jan, my parents and i went to the temple to pray, and to pay respect to my grandfather's urn before going to my aunt's house for awhile.

Rested at my aunt's house until about 5pm, and i went to town to find Sharon. We watched Journey 2: The Mysterious Island. The movie was not bad. Vanessa Hudgens is so pretty, can't stop staring at her in the movie theatre, haha. At about 9pm plus, we went home.

2012-01-25T16:00:00.002+08:00

I am feeling super irritated now. Everything is making me annoyed.

Feel so annoyed whenever i go to facebook and see posts like, "Valentine's day is coming. Inbox me or comment on any numbers etc etc". Just shut up. And my rashes are making me damn annoyed. I keep waking up more than 5 times every night for the past few nights to scratch the rashes cos damn itchy at night. And the rashes look damn ugly too, wtf. I mean, since when rashes look nice? -.- K can, but that's not the point. See already also want tear my skin out, go for cosmetic surgery and get fair and beautiful skin. I cannot wear shorts or dresses! :(

I'm going to National Skin Centre for my appointment at 5.30pm later. Hope my rashes cure asap. I have so much assignments not done yet. I have no lessons today, you know why? Everything is Self-Directed Learning, which sucks. Do assignments and hand up, wtf. I rather go for lessons, please? At least i just stone in class for 2 hours and get my attendance signed, sua. Still do what assignments, read what stupid articles? Give 5 articles and ask us to read... Think we so free ah? Think the articles very interesting ah? Wtf.

Damn annoyed now. CRS test next week, then CRS exam at the end of the month. I only attended 2 or 3 lectures out of 13 lectures? Wah, best ah. I don't know how i'm going to study such a wordy and lengthy subject. And i can't even find my lecture notes? Aiyo, so stressful. Then all the other projects submissions and presentations are near. Sigh.

Okay, i finished complaining. Will post about CNY Day 2 later. Bye.

2012-01-23T22:47:00.001+08:00

Happy Chinese New Year everyone!

As usual, i went to my relative's house to celebrate CNY. But it wasn't so happening this year, i don't know why. Maybe cos there were very few people? I still have rashes, and they kinda got worse. So depressing! My uncle said that it's cos i ate too much sugary foods, which is quite true. I always spam soft drinks everyday. And i'm still shy to talk to my cousins. Omg. All my cousins who are of my age are already attached. Maybe there's something wrong with me lor. One of them is with her boyfriend for 6 years, and he's actually her first boyfriend. Wow! Okay, anyway, we left at about 6pm. Cos my mum wasn't feel well, so she wanna reach home early to rest.

This is the first CNY that i celebrated without my paternal grandmother and maternal great-grandmother (they passed away). Used to go to my grandmother's house for reunion dinner and in the morning of CNY Day 1, and my great-grandmother's house on CNY Day 2. Sigh... I miss them :/ So i don't have anything to do tomorrow, and that sucks. The CNY festive mood just isn't there.

Was supposed to borrow hair curler from Shas in the morning, but was lazy to wake up early to borrow from her, so i didn't in the end. But i plaited my hair before i slept last night, so it's a little curly, haha.

Okay, time to post photos. Didn't take any with my cousins cos i was too shy k. My mood is just very angsty and upset now. I just wanna sleep all the time and escape from reality. Okay, shall sleep soon. Bye.

2012-01-20T23:30:00.000+08:00

Good news:
1) I survived this hectic week. Weekends are finally here!
2) Celebrated Mandy's birthday with the girls just now.
3) Accounting test yesterday was not bad. Hope to ace it!
4) Got back TTB test. I got an A. Yay! But i think my overall will be pulled down by the other components of the subject. But oh well, that's life. Always starts well, but rarely ends well. Zzz.

Bad news:
1) Got back my CSIT report grade. Damn lousy.
2) Screwed up CSIT test today. Only can blame myself for not studying hard enough.
3) I am having rashes!! Itchy! And at the wrong time. Before CNY, seriously? Please cure by CNY soon okay? I wanna wear my tube dress one leh -.-
4) CRS test is coming soon. Have been skipping so many lectures. Dieeee.
5) Culture and CSIT projects due soon. Please save me.

Recently, my friend's love life is blossoming. Like, seeing them so sweet to each other. It's the phase before getting into a relationship, where both parties are so sweet to each other, finding every opportunity to meet each other, texting 'good morning' and 'goodnight' texts everyday, telling each other everything. The nervousness, happiness and laughter... I don't know whether the feeling is mutual between them, but it's just so sweet. Makes me happy and sad in a way. Happy for her, of course. But sad cos i have not been feeling this way for such a long time and i doubt i'll ever get to feel this way again :/ But i guess, that's the sweetest phase, isn't it? Things change after getting into a relationship. Okay nvm.

So damn stressed about school. Wtf. My GPA is going to suck this semester. So annoyed, i wanna shout at people. Nvm, i shall go and sleep now, goodnight.

2012-01-19T00:11:00.001+08:00

Suddenly feel quite sad now.

Baoshi told me just now that she will be going to China in March for her internship. It will be for 5 months, all the way until August. I can't believe it... She's leaving in less than 2 months time. Omg.

I'm happy for her. Going for an internship overseas is a whole new experience. Meeting new people, learning to be independant, living in a new environment etc. But she has been my closest friend for 6 years. Everytime something happens to me or when i need someone to give me advices, or when i'm crying and need someone to talk to or when i have good news to share, she will be the first person i call or text. I can't imagine 5 months without her... We will be so far apart. What if i desperately need someone to talk to? Who can i talk to? What if we drift away?

Okay. Back to accounting. Bye.

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2012-01-18T23:02:00.001+08:00

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2012-01-18T19:52:00.002+08:00

Why some people just look so pretty? Be it in real life or in photos.

Makes me damn pissed off. Not at them, but at myself. Wtf, why i cannot be as pretty as them ah? Walking into business school makes me wanna wear a paper bag over my face and run to my class sometimes -.- It's like, an ugly duckling pops out of nowhere and pollutes the environment. Okay, maybe not so exaggerating, but you get my point la. So many pretty girls in TP. Fashionable and pretty. Wear boots, crop tops, nice hair and make-up. I know it's very unreasonable and lame for me to be pissed off. But i am an angsty person, can?

UNFAIR WTF! Okay nvm. I go study accounting now, bye.

2012-01-17T22:13:00.001+08:00

Feeling so weird ever since that day.

I don't know how to say la... A part of me wants to do something about it, but another part of me is reluctant... A lot of things pulling me back. And there's also other things that i'm not certain about. Sigh nvm.

Have been busy with tests and projects recently. Tomorrow is FEM project submission. The project is about Singapore Flyer and Valentine's Day. Can't help realizing that Valentine's Day is approaching in a few weeks time. I used to spend it with Letong for the past 5 years or so. But i won't be spending it with her this year cos she will probably be celebrating with her boyfriend. Sigh. I won't have a date anyway, so my plan for Valentine's Day is to go straight home after school and watch cartoon or drama. I'm not joking. Sounds like a plan! :D

Gonna do my project and sleep soon. Have to wake up at 6am plus tomorrow. My goodness. Still thinking whether i should attend the lecture on sex tourism (CSIT) from 2 to 4 tomorrow. I'll be super sleepy la. Haiyo, okay bye.

Anyway, after a super long time, i finally found a Hello Kitty cover for my phone! If only there's Domo phone covers!! But it's okay, i'm still happy!

2012-01-13T23:30:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you put walls up not to keep people out, but to see who cares enough to break them down.

Okay. I deserve an award for updating my blog everyday.

TTB test was alright, i guess? There's some questions that i didn't know how to do. So i secretly copied the answers from the person in front of me -.- There's this question on cruise ships... They gave a deck plan of many levels, and asked us to calculate how many elevators are there. My answer was 96, while other people's answers were 14 or 16? Wth lol.

Next week is so scary. FEM project submission on wednesday, Accounting test on thursday and CSIT test on friday. The worst part is that there's 10 chapters to study for CSIT and my accounting test is from 7 to 8pm. So i'll reach home at 9pm. So late and tired, how to study? Can don't put the tests at such ridiculous timings or not? -.-

Recently, all the guys are pissing me off. ALL OF THEM. WTH. Okay, maybe not all, since i have very few guy friends. But everything they say and do seem to annoy me, even though it's nothing offensive... I don't know why. They're just being direct and honest. So i should be happy right? Since i hate liars to the max. It's like a reflex action. Very hard to explain... Maybe the problems lies in me... Not them. Okay nvm.

Met up with Sharon just now also. I like meeting her. We always have so much to do and talk about. I'm meeting her again tomorrow. I hope Singapore will legalize same-sex marriages soon. Okay, i'm angsty now. So the best solution is to sleep, though i've already been sleeping a lot recently. Bye.

2012-01-12T23:26:00.001+08:00

I spent half the afternoon doing the project that is due tomorrow.

So i have not completed my revision for tomorrow's TTB test yet. But if you ask me to go to America now, i will immediately pack my luggage and rush to the airport now. So i guess... Lazy is the right word for it, not sleepy. But still, i want to sleep la. My test starts at 6.30pm and my lesson ends at 1pm tomorrow. Yes, i'm skipping lectures again. Hopefully, that 5 hours break will be spent studying. And i'm meeting Sharon after my test. Yay!

This week is so horrible. Next week will be worse. 2 tests and a project to hand in. But it's okay. I will try my very best to motivate myself. Back to project and then my revision after that. Goodnight in advance! Lalala!

2012-01-12T00:00:00.001+08:00

At the rate i'm skipping lectures, i think i will do badly for all my tests :(

Can't help it... Too lazy already. At the start of the semester, i told myself to attend ALL lectures. But somewhere in the middle of the semester, i start skipping lectures. I don't have TTB tutorial today. I have 2 lectures after the tutorial, but i was lazy to go, so i skipped school today.

But i did my project research. So stressed and sad. So many upcoming tests and projects to hand in. Aiyo, i want to be happy every single day also cannot. Have to worry about this and that. Then so many pretty girls in Business school... Makes me feel inferior only. On the other hand, i feel very lazy to wear nice clothes to school, so i end up wearing shirt and shorts with no make-up and feel ugly. Zzz.

Okay whatever. So sleepy. Still have to study for Friday's TTB test. I hope CNY can quickly come, then i can be richer than usual. And then, hopefully February will pass quickly so that i can enjoy my holidays at the end of February! And i will be a Year 3 student in April. Yay?

Anyway, i am thinking of curling my hair. Should i? Not the big fat curls... It's the subtle wavy curls at the end. Sharon and Baoshi said that i look nicer in straight hair. But i'm bored of my straight hair! Okay, maybe i'll temporarily curl my hair for CNY and see how it looks like. If nice, then i curl permanently. My hair so dry. So i must think twice before making such decisions.

This is the type of curls i like. I know their faces very pretty and distracting. But look at the curls k. Should i curl? Haiyo. So hard to decide :/ Shall sleep soon. Hate staying up late. Goodnight!

2012-01-10T02:05:00.000+08:00

It's times like that... When i'm alone, that i will start to think a lot.

But it's alright. Techno songs cheer me up lol. I don't know why. I am perfectly fine when i'm with my friends. But once i'm alone, all the thoughts start coming back. Why do things change so quickly overnight? Things can be fine today, and then totally terrible the next day. It's just so scary. I am so tired of forcing myself to do things i don't want to do. So tired of forcing the concept of "mind over heart" into my head. But that's the only way to ensure that my head is the one controlling my emotions, and not my heart. Decisions made by the heart just suck. The head makes so much more logical decisions. Yes, i will regret if i don't follow my heart. But i will also regret when i realise that the decisions my heart made are not practical and logical at all. Logic alright? Everything is about logic and practicability.

Remember Veron, when you feel that your heart is about to control your emotions, think back. Think about the pain and tears your stupid heart caused you in secondary school. Do you want to repeat the same stupid mistake? No. So follow your head. I don't care how hard it is. I'm going to make sure my head will rule over my heart.

I hope this will be a habit in the future... To have my head making decisions all the time. Anyway, i got back my grades for FEM individual report. Sucks like shit. Many people did badly. Only person scored A in my class. Most people scored Cs and Ds. Wtf, i'm damn pissed off cos i put in the effort lor. But it's okay. What's over is over. Shall work hard for the other components.

Shall continue my project research now. Goodnight.

2012-01-08T22:27:00.003+08:00

I met up with Shas, Vinder, Mandy, Sara, Jency and Michelle for dinner just now. We ate steamboat and went to shisha after that. Vinder and i left early cos i wanna reach home early to do project. So here i am now, updating my blog when i'm supposed to be doing my research. Okay bye.

2012-01-08T22:12:00.004+08:00

2012-01-07T23:31:00.001+08:00

I just woke up from my nap an hour ago. But i am still feeling very tired and cranky -.-

My period came today, which makes me more tired easily. And i can't drink cold drinks also. Sigh. Anyway, Letong and i went to dye our hair in the afternoon. She dyed her whole head, but i only retouched my hair roots. Her hair is a mixture of red and black now. Quite nice :) We went to Expo to shop after that. I bought a dress for CNY. Yay! Didn't buy much things la.

I brought my camera along so that we can take photos. The last time the both of us went out was few months ago? Got boyfriend then don't want her sweetheart already. I wanna cry already :( No la, joking. I'm glad to meet her today! Haha. We didn't take much photos anyway. After i finish this post, i shall do my project research and sleep after that. So sleepy. Life is so boring, i just want to sleep all the time.

A side-to-side comparison of my hair before dyeing and after dyeing. Not very obvious, but i post for the sake of posting. My hair is supposed to be brown, but it looks so red under the light! Urgh!

2012-01-06T23:41:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! My blogsong so nice right! :D

I am super sleepy now. Omg. I woke up at 7am today, cos i have Accounting lecture at 9am. I kind of regretted going. Cos i wasn't even paying attention in the lecture. Was controlling myself from falling asleep. Seriously. Had project consultation also. TP was super crowded cos of the open house. I am even able to collect the open house goodie bag for myself without them asking me whether i'm a TP student or not. TP students are not supposed to collect the goodie bags. Some of them even talked about their courses and offered to give me a tour around TP. Do i really look that young and childish? I wanna look hot, matured and pretty leh. Not some little girl. I am 19 years old this year leh. Sigh, okay nvm. I was just joking, don't puke please.

I watched Flying Swords of Dragon Gates with Sharon after dinner. I watched cos there's a handsome guy in the movie and not cos of the storyline. His name Is Chen Kun. So handsome lol. But he's 36 years old this year. Such a huge gap between us. Can be my father already la. Aiyo.

I am supposed to be doing my project research now. I have 3 projects to do. Omg. But i am so tired and i want to sleep soon. Or maybe i'm just lazy. How? So sad. I want to enjoy life and be happy... And not worrying about projects. Anyway, i will be retouching my hair roots tomorrow... For chinese new year. Kinda early, i know. But i don't have a choice. I will be super busy the next few weeks.

Hopefully i will still be alive... Goodnight. Should i sleep? Or do research? I got a feeling i'll end up sleeping. Why can't i be more hardworking?

Somehow, i realised that some things are worth caring for and going after, while some things aren't. And that what's not yours can never be yours no matter how much you fight for it. Everything is just temporary. Love is temporary, you may love someone for years, but that doesn't mean that feelings doesn't fade within a day. Your loved ones will leave eventually. Time has a way of changing things too quickly that sometimes you're just not aware of it. For a period of time, i prioritized him over so many other things. I tried so hard to make him stay. But eventually, i got tired. Tired of trying, tired of caring, tired of liking. It makes me see the nasty side of humans. Humans are never satisfied. Once they get what they want, they don't know how to cherish and start wanting more. Slowly, i'm letting go. I learn to not expect anymore. Most importantly, i learnt that possession is the beginning of losing. You just can't hold on to someone or something too much. The harder you grip, the more you fear to lose it, and the easier it will slip away. I also learnt to love myself more now. Cos i realised that the one and only person who will understands me best and who is able to love me at my worst and best is myself.

Just being random. Okay bye.

2012-01-04T23:30:00.000+08:00

It's actually 5 January, 2.30am now. But apparently, i went to blogger few hours ago, and left the page blank, which explains the time of this post. Hahaha.

Stayed at home nearly the whole day today. I have no lessons today. Everything was SDL.Was waiting for Baoshi to call the whole morning but she didn't. And once i put on face mask, she called -.- Talk about right timing lol. Wanted to do my project research initially. But knowing me well, of course i procrastinated. So i didn't do much in the end. Zzz. But i met up with Khengwei for dinner at Lau Pa Sat. Everyone so busy, no time to go out with me :(

I have no school every Thursday too. Even more boring. I can't put work cos i may have last minute project meetings. Look at my hectic schedule for the next few weeks. Omg.

13 January: TTB Test and Club, Resort and Spa Project due.
18 January: Festival and Events Project due.
20 January: Accounting Test, SIT Test and Culture Project due.

Look at 20 January. You tell me... Will die or not? 2 tests and 1 project. Fml. Why the hell am i in this course? Should have gone to Mass Comm.... Or marry some super rich guy and be a rich tai tai forever. Haha. Just joking. Nobody wants me :(

So sleepy. Shall hear some songs and then sleep soon. Hope everything will be fine and that i'll feel happy tomorrow!

2012-01-03T21:10:00.001+08:00

說好的幸福呢?

2012-01-03T20:00:00.000+08:00

School reopened today. It was fine i guess?

But i am so sleepy cos my lesson was at 9am, so i had to wake up at 7am. I got back Culture and Accounting test today and i'm happy with my results. Was kind of disappointed with my results for Accounting since it's my best subject, but considering the fact that some bad stuffs happened the day before the test which ruined my mood to study, getting such a grade is already quite good :)

I will be having my internship for a few months in Semester 3.2, which starts about September or October 2012 and i have been thinking about it for quite some time already. I used to consider doing my internship overseas, but everyone is telling me how risky it is, cos you have to independent enough to deal with the problems you face yourself in another country. And there was also some other stuffs that made me feel like staying in Singapore. So... For a period of time, i decided to do my internship locally instead. But now, thinking about it, i have always wanted to go overseas since young. I've always enjoyed watching videos on other countries. And due to some other reasons, i decided to do my internship overseas instead. This type of opportunities don't happen all the time. So it's not easy to do internship overseas as there's a limited number of spaces available. So i'll study hard and try to hit the minimum requirements :)

But there's still a long way to go before my attachment starts. So i may change my mind anytime lol.

2012-01-02T16:15:00.000+08:00

Hi! I made my font size bigger cos Zazz said that it's too small.

31 December

I met up with Zazz, Louis and Yujing at Somerset in the afternoon. We watched The Darkest Hours and 50/50. But Yujing had to leave early. We met up with Sharon and Gengqi and went to City Hall for the 2012 countdown after that. The countdown wasn't as crowded and exciting as the previous years. Hmm, i wonder why lol. After the countdown, Zazz, Louis and i went to Aljunied Mcdonalds for supper before going home :)

Shall post some photos taken on my birthday celebrations and during the countdown!

2011-12-31T01:53:00.000+08:00

I don't dare to look at my phone. It kept vibrating the whole night cos of the whatsapp messages that i received. It's on project discussion. So scary, makes me stressed only, so i better not look at it. Lol.

Today is the last day of 2011!

How has this year been for me? I'm lazy to elaborate. I also don't want to bring back both the good and bad memories cos what's over is already over. But to keep it brief, the first half of 2011 was rather mundane. Life was all about school. But the starting of the second half of the year was slightly better? I went to Australia and i dated this guy. Things were fine at the start, but after a few months, things got rocky for us. And so, 2011 ended in a bad way cos we broke up few weeks before. But oh well, at least it was a learning experience for me. I still don't like going to school lol. Not close to my poly friends and don't like the countless tests, projects and assignments to do. So there's nothing for me to look forward to in school. No eye candies also, cos i don't like the people in my school and i don't wanna waste time and effort to get them to notice me. There are too many pretty girls in Business school, so i'll probably the last person anyone notices lol. So why waste time? One of the few things that i'm happy about 2011 is that i'm still keeping in touch with my awesome girlfriends <3

It will be the first day of 2012 tomorrow. Kinda don't see the point in making resolutions or birthday wishes. Cos in the end, nothing comes through. As if a genie will come out from a lamp and grant them -.- All i hope is that 2012 will be a better year for me, and that i'll be strong enough to pull through the obstacles i face in the future. I also hope to have more confidence in myself and be more hardworking and happy :) Meeting my friends for countdown later, but some of them can't make it. So mean :(

Hmm, that's all i guess? Will edit this post if i have new resolutions. Haha.

2011-12-30T13:41:00.000+08:00

Yay! I'm finally 18 years old. Can club and watch M18 movies already lol.

Thanks to those who wished me happy birthday on msn, facebook, twitter and through sms. Thanks to those who celebrated my birthday and also those who gave me presents!

27 December

Sharon and i went to Teo Heng to sing in the afternoon. Seriously, i don't like my voice. So xiao mei mei and horrible. But that's not the point. I enjoyed myself. We went to Parkway to slack after that, before meeting Xiuyong, Carolyn, Chunyou and Chris for dinner and movie at 112 Katong. We watched "we bought a zoo". Okay, the starting was super boring, i nearly fell asleep. But the ending was heartwarming. After the movie, they surprised me with a birthday cake. It's not really a surprise, cos Sharon was rather obvious. She looked at her phone, and immediately asked me, "which flavour you like? Chocolate, strawberry or vanilla?". Hahaha. But it's okay. I still appreciate it a lot! :)

28 and 29 December

Thanks Baoshi, Zazz, Letong, Yujing, Louis and Brandon for the 2 days. It was awesome, haha. We slacked at Louis's house from 3pm to about 7pm plus. We ate dinner at Marina Square before going to Buttery Factory. Two of them kept saying Butter House, so alike right! :D It was my second time going to the club (i used my friend's IC the first time). Both experiences were quite different. It was super crowded at Butter, people kept stepping my leg, or hit my head. Letong's experience was super funny. One random guy grabbed her head and turned it? Wtf hahaha. Didn't really drink much so i was too shy to dance. Anything that has to do with dance reminds me of my CCA in secondary school. Was a terrible dancer back then lol. Didn't really like the songs also. I prefer techno :( But thanks to the guys, Louis's sister and her boyfriend for protecting us :) We left at about 3am.

Watched a horror movie after we reached Louis's house. Letong and Baoshi had to leave early. It was so fun and entertaining sleeping together with everyone. Feels nice to wake up and see them. I don't know how to explain, it's like having a holiday with them. If only i can sleep and live with them everyday, i confirm won't emo already, lol. We watched Puss in Boots also. I nearly fell asleep so many times halfway. We went home at about 5pm. We kept dragging the time cos we were too lazy to move. Louis's room is too comfortable already. Really enjoyed myself. Thanks all :)

Just realised that in 2 days time, it will be 2012. It will be the 7th year that we all know each other! Throughout that 7 years, we saw each other grow up, saw our ugly and unglamorous moments, beautiful moments, the times we laughed and cried, the times we quarreled and fell out, the times we mature. So much things happen in that 7 years, i am so glad that we are still keeping in touch. I hope that we'll continue keeping in touch in the future. We're all 18 already. I can imagine the day we turn 25 and when we're still keeping in touch, we will receive each other's wedding cards, see each other graduating from schools and stepping into the workforce, dealing with financial stuffs and the list goes on. When we were 13, we were still young. There's so many things that we didn't know about life. We all have really grown :)

Will post photos in the next post.

2011-12-25T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hi. Merry christmas all! And happy birthday to my sister too :D

I went to treatment and cut my hair yesterday morning. Then Baoshi and i went to Louis's house to find him and Zazz after that to celebrate christmas. At about 8pm plus, i went to Plaza Singapura to meet the GV people for movie and countdown. We watched Sherlock Holmes, it's a rather good movie! We exchanged presents when it's midnight. After that, some of us went to somewhere near my house to eat. Ate till about 3am and went home after that. Slept at 4am and woke up at 10am. So sleepy now :(

Told myself in the morning to do my project research. But guess what? I spent the whole afternoon and night watching drama. Can't help it, it's such an awesome show and i love the female lead, Ariel Lin. She is so pretty!

The show is really cute. It's about the male lead and female lead being best friends for 15 years. So yeah, they understand each other the best... Even better than the different people they get into a relationship with in the course of 15 years. Well, they like each other all along, but they just refuse to admit it? But in the end, they got married. So sweet.

Sometimes, i find that being best friends with a guy is even better than being in a relationship with him. There's something in friendships that is so unique that it is absent in relationships. It's quite possible for friendship to last a lifetime, but quite impossible for relationships. How many people get to marry their first love? People get tired and bored in relationships after a short period of time. So much problems arise in relationships: Commitment, trust, love, compromise. I really don't know how couples can get married and be together for a lifetime. Being together for more than 30 years... Won't the feelings just die off? Won't they meet someone more compatible than their other half? Okay, maybe i'm still young, so i don't really understand how love works -.-

I am going to sleep soon. I have to wake up early to do my project research :(

2011-12-21T12:06:00.001+08:00

I deleted all my previous posts again lol.

Out of impulse i guess. I am just very weird la. Like, when i feel annoyed or don't feel like looking back at the past, i'll just delete all my posts, photos in both my laptop and phone, text and whatsapp messages and throw away the things that remind me of bad memories. And then, i start to regret few months later. Lol.

I don't know what to post. Haha. So i shall just talk about what i've been doing these few days and post photos after that.

Went to DBL O to club after the birthday celebration the GV people held 4 days ago.
Met Baoshi yesterday afternoon to shop for presents, and then i celebrated my friend's birthday at TCC @ Keppel Bay in the night. Love the ambience!
Shopped with my awesome girlfriends, Sharon and Carolyn 2 days ago.

That's all i guess? I will keep myself as busy as possible until school reopens next year. Cannot let holidays go to waste, haha. But i really hate the fact that i still have to do group projects! When there's school, i am busy with individual assignments and tests. When it's holidays, i'm busy with group projects. Walao, damn sian k.

Anyway, 2012 is approaching. Maybe i'll post my resolutions and talk about 2011 next week, when i'm not so lazy. Haha. Oh ya! If there's anything you want to ask or comment about, you can ask me on formspring (http://www.formspring.me/V3ron). My formspring is so dead, and i will not make a tagboard lol.